They said I couldn’t, and it wasn’t allowed. I said I darn well could, I would, and I darn well DID!
My name is Mistie and I was due with my second child on August 21, 2012. My first child was born via cesarean 18 months before due to an immediate drop in heart rate and blood pressure that wouldn’t change with changing of positions. He had to come out immediately or we could have lost him. My experience with having a cesarean wasn’t a bad one except I didn’t like the pain and recovery time that came with it.
.When I got pregnant with my second child 10 months after having my first baby, I didn’t know how much of a fight it would be to have him naturally the way nature intended. I live in Kingsland, Georgia thanks to the military. I have lived all over the country and have experienced many things, and never once would I have thought that I would have been told that I wasn’t allowed to have my baby naturally at the local hospital. Every person I spoke to at the hospital or doctor offices said the same thing: scheduled c-section. I can honestly say that at the beginning of my second pregnancy I was very ignorant about child birth in America, and so were a lot of people I talked to. I had always assumed that if you had a cesarean you could still have a vaginal birth the next time. Apparently I was mistaken according to the nurses at the hospital, some friends, and the worse part, family.
For the first 12 weeks I had the hardest time emotionally and was to the point of giving up until I found what I needed. I found a Dr who was willing to support me in my birth choice and be encouraging about it! I had called three different hospitals and at least 5 OB/GYN offices and was either told no, hung up on, or had someone who didn’t know what I was asking before I had someone say yes. I was frustrated, upset and scared. I kept thinking “is it really this hard to have a baby naturally?” Having a homebirth wasn’t an option for me because of my first pregnancy, I wasn’t willing to take a chance on something happening to my baby and not getting to a hospital in time. My only problem was that she and the hospital were at least 45 minutes away in Jacksonville, but I was willing to make that drive. It seemed like in person, she was the only one who said I could and would have my baby naturally. Some friends were supportive, but a little skeptical considering where I lived and whether the doctor would actually follow through with the promises she made. My family was the worst, and the reason I fought the hardest to have my baby naturally. To have the women of my family tell me that once I had a c-section that I would always have a c-section because that’s what my cousins and other members of the family were told and experienced. I was hurt, offended, and most of all angry. I was hurt that the women I look to for support and advice weren’t supportive and said I couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to have my baby naturally. I was offended by how ignorant they were, and how easily their doctors and others used that to their advantage. But most of all I was angry! Who were they to say that I couldn’t do it? How could they sit there 2000 miles away in Idaho and tell me that I was wrong and to expect to have a repeat c-section. The words they said not only made me angry but filled me with determination and resolve. I was going to have my baby naturally and I was going to show them that it can happen. I wanted the members of my family to remember me if/when they ever came to this type of situation. It became the driving force that kept me going when I nearly gave in.
My second pregnancy went better than the first, I didn’t gain as much weight, I kept the blood pressure down and thankfully wasn’t as sick as I was with the first. Once a month I drove the 45 minutes down I-95 from Kingsland, Georgia to Baptist medical downtown, most of the time I took my child with me. The office staff always looked forward to seeing me and my son, in fact someone was always willing to play peek a boo while I had to stand on the scale or get blood drawn. I had an amazing doctor who listened to everything I had to say, even if it was just to complain about something small in life. I told her that I wanted to have my child naturally and if that meant no epidural and coming in pushing I would do it. She laughed and agreed with me, I could and would have a VBAC and I could have the crazy juice if I wanted it. She gave me some limitations, I had until 41 weeks before we considered induction if I was favorable, or a repeat c-section or if something went seriously wrong with the pregnancy. After giving me those two rules, she never mentioned having a repeat c-section. I didn’t actually believe that it would be that easy so I would bring it up at ever meeting, and each time she would tell me the same thing: that I’m going to have the baby naturally. At one point when I asked about birth plans she told me not to make one, and if I felt the need to have one, don’t show it to her because she’s superstitious about birth plans and VBACs. Having a birth plan would jinx the birth and I’d end up with another C-section so she didn’t want to even know about it. Who would have thought I managed to find a superstitious doctor?
The last weeks of pregnancy were hard on me emotionally and physically. My body went into early labor sooner than I did with my first and my body decided to be evil and play games with my head. I had constant contractions at 37 weeks, lost my mucus plug and bloody show at 38, and harder contractions at 39. At 39 weeks I was only 1cm dilated compared to 3 with my first. I was impatient to say the least! I didn’t like the end of this pregnancy, with the first I was excited, happy and my husband had just gotten home from deployment. This pregnancy, I was worried about actually getting to the labor part, worried about my toddler and other day to day things on top of having contractions. I was an all around stressful mess, but I was a determined stressful mess. At my 39 week appointment my doctor told me that she was going out of town the next week on my due date, she said she honestly thought the baby would come out sooner than my due date because of all the signs I’ve been having. If I didn’t give birth by my due date I would have to see one of her associates at the appointment and maybe the birth if I went into labor while she was gone. I had never met any of the other doctors in the practice, so I was worried about how supportive they would be. My doctor made sure that my plan for a VBAC was plastered all over my file and that her associates knew our plans. At 40 weeks I met with another doctor after having fetal monitoring and an ultrasound done. He had me worried because he wasn’t very talkative. He came in the door, grabbed a glove, and went for my goods before even mentioning his name! I had to make him stop and talk to me for a minute before I allowed him to examine me. It was little funny afterwards since my husband was with me. He made jokes about it the whole drive home. Even at my 40 week appointment there was no mention of induction or scheduling a c-section, all I was told was that I was going to go into labor soon. Soon was a word I hated by the end of my pregnancy, along with “how are you feeling?” But the thing I hated the most was when people would ask when they were going to schedule me for a repeat c-section. My answer would always be the same: “they’re not” and I hoped each time I said it that I was right.
Finally, at 40 weeks and 5 days my water broke at 2 o’clock in the morning and it was a gush! It was Hollywood movie worthy, in my opinion. I woke up to a pop in my pelvic area and the sudden urge to pee. I clinched the urge to get up and go to the bathroom and as I stood up I got a gush of water down my legs. It was scary and confusing because I knew I was still holding it, but I was giving Niagara Falls a run for its money on gallons per minute over the side. It took me a second to fully wake up and realize what had happened. I was still gushing when my husband came running with a pile of towels and clothes. I had to still pee so I walked to the bathroom and went all the while still leaking water. My husband thought it was funny. Within ten minutes we were out the door on our way to the hospital after calling the doctor and my doula. My contractions started in the car 45 seconds long 3 minutes apart each time. My husband managed to get us to the hospital just under 30 minutes when it always takes me 45 minutes to drive there, but I never drove at 2 am. Within a few minutes I was in my room getting hooked up to a monitor. The attending nurse was amazingly nice and understanding. She made sure my doula could get upstairs without any problems and helped me stand every time I needed to work through a contraction. It took them about 2 hours to get me fully admitted and hooked up to an IV. It took three nurses and 5 tries to get the IV started much to my annoyance. Apparently the most experience nurse was attending a cesarean and the other nurses weren’t as competent about starting an IV in a hand with difficult veins.
I managed to go five hours before asking for an epidural, and even then I was scared of getting one. I had a horrible experience with my first pregnancy and I was worried that people would think me a wuss for only managing 5 hours of labor before asking for an epidural. My husband and Doula were there for me the whole time helping me stand through contractions or anything else I needed, even sneaking me a drink of water when I really needed it. The doctor administering the epidural finally came in and did a fantastic job. He made me so happy and not scared any more, it just proved to me that the last doctor to administer one on my back was an idiot. Another 4 hours went by easily, with me dilating at a good rate. The doctor who was filling in for my doctor would come in and check on me. He never once mentioned me needing to be prepared for a c-section. As far as they were concerned, I was just a woman giving birth naturally. How I had my first child didn’t matter, I was having this baby naturally! Finally, 10 hours after arriving at the hospital, I was almost ready to push. Unfortunately, with every contraction the baby’s heart rate would decrease and each time took longer to go back to normal. The doctor came in and told me this was happening and gave me two options: too push for hours with the possibility that the baby will be able to handle it or to use a vacuum extractor and push for 30 minutes. There was a very real possibility that I could end up going in for another c-section if the baby couldn’t handle the hours of pushing with the way his heart rate was decreasing. I agreed to use the vacuum, after my doula explained all the pros and cons and possibilities. I didn’t want to take a chance of something happening to my baby and having to go in for a repeat c-section. The c-section wasn’t my concern, I’d do it if I needed to, and it was the baby I was worried about.
The doctor and the nurses chit chatted away as I’m trying not to panic. I honestly didn’t believe that I would ever make it to the point of pushing. They had a hold of my legs, my husband on my left and a nurse on my right with my doula next to my husband and they had me pushing. I was focusing so hard on the nurse that I didn’t even hear what was going on anywhere else. The doctor was pointing out the baby’s head to my husband and telling him to get ready to cut the cord. My husband took it all in stride, even when the doctor cut me a couple times to help the baby’s head through. I was still trying to push when the doctor put my baby on my chest and had my husband cut the cord. I was so surprised I was frozen. My doula told me to touch him and finally put my hands on him when I didn’t move. I was shocked, overwhelmed and didn’t completely believe that I had just given birth. When they took him across the room to get cleaned I started crying and saying I did it. I got to watch them clean my baby and weigh him then I immediately got to hold him. There was no taking him away or me going to recovery somewhere else. Everyone congratulated me and the doctor said “see nothing to worry about you had him the way you wanted, congratulations.”
Recovery was fast and completely different from having a c-section. We went home after 48 hours and everything seemed so much easier, except that I did end up with stitches. Walking and sitting were nearly unbearable when I got a hemorrhoid. I was so scared to have my first bowel movement; I actually tried to avoid it for as long as possible. I had a small case of depression in those first days, I became anxious to nurse my baby because of the pain, I cried when he did because I knew he wanted to eat. I finally talked with his pediatrician and had my first bowel movement, that was almost as painful as labor itself, okay not really but it was scary. I was so sure I was going to reopen the stitches, but afterwards my depression went away and I was able to enjoy my little one when he wasn’t nursing, I was still having some pain.
The best part besides having my son was being able to tell people that I successfully had him VBAC style. I sent a picture via text on my phone to all of the women of my family who told me I can’t with the words “I DID it.” It was kind of an “I told you so” moment but I never meant it in a mean way. It makes me so happy to be able to tell them that just because you had a cesarean the first time doesn’t mean you will always have to have one. With my son’s birth I was able to educate the people around me. Not a whole lot, but enough to show them that I did it and they could to. I want them to be able to say “I can” when they are told no, or at least know that they have the option. It may not be easy but, the option is still there. Even my husband tells people that we had our son “VBAC style” and will always tell them that it’s possible they just have to find the way.
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